I know a thing or two about selfish. Sure, selfish is all someone can be about right? Selfish with love, selfish with money, with care, with concern, selfish with your peace of mind.

I’m ok with the selfish that progresses your happiness, because I think it’s your right to be happy. I don’t think sacrifice is a good thing, especially when it comes to love, because if it’s “sacrifice” then it probably isn’t love. And no, love doesn’t have to hurt, if it does, then you’re not doing it right I think.

I’m also OK with the selfish that progresses you career, your life, I’m OK with the selfish that promotes you and who you are. Selflessness is not necessarily of virtue, there’s no reason why “selfish” should be a negative attribute, because as long as it’s only the ‘you’ in the picture, being you-ish, or selfish in this case, is ALRIGHT...

But i’m not ok with the selfish that is in the same equation with the ’someone else’. Because that’s when the scales tip and someone almost definitely is being hurt, or is giving up, someone is being pressured, put in an unfair situation, someone is suffering because of the selfish of someone else...if that makes any sense at all.

Be as selfish as you want, but consider what it means to others. Are you leaving someone behind? Someone you chose to include in your life, and then intentionally left behind? Are you leaving a family? A child? A loved one? Are you leaving someone who truly needs you?

Are you forcing someone into loving you? Are you weighing them down with guilt and pressure and almost bending your love to them into black mail...are you offering them ultimatums between what seems to be your ultimate happiness and your ultimate misery and you make them the decisive factor, and you make sure to let them know it?

Are you taking someone’s pride away, by manipulating them to your favor? By prioritizing your happiness over theirs? Are you even considering theirs at all?

I don’t have a single f***ing problem with selfish, but I can’t always be selfless either. Maybe I’m a little jealous because I don’t do selfish too good.

I can’t manage anymore, I want the selfish a little more. Sometimes...I want to leave and travel and marry whoever the f*** I want!
I want to love someone and make my happiness all that matters and not have to think of them all the time.
I want to make money and spend it all on me and enjoy every cent of it.
I want to take what is mine and what belongs to me and not have to share it.
I want more self-absorbed and less self-aware. I want more me and less you...

I envy those who know how, I envy the friend that calls me up, rants on about her problems, her needs, her depressions, her life, and when it’s my turn she’d already hung up.

I envy the friend who manages to tell me so I can feel guilty and then have me channel all my effort, love and concern just to make someone else, other than me, always, feel better.
I envy my mom for being able to leave everything behind and just follow her peace of mind and get a better job with better pay in a better country! F*** IT, no it wasn’t for us, it was all for her.

Such heavy things weighing me down, regret, jealousy, resentment, loneliness, boredom, greed. I don’t feel bad about it though, I don’t resent my jealousy, I resent my weakness. I don’t regret my selflessness I only regret others’ selfishness. I’m lonely because I can’t find myself among those who surround me, not because someone else left me behind. I’m bored with not having what I want, not with what I have...I’m greedy for difference, not for more.

I would let them be selfish, I would let them know it’s ok to go after what you want, and it doesn’t always have to hurt others.
It doesn’t always have to be unanimous with bad...selfish can be good. Selfish can be your right...Selfish can be the only way you can feel OK, about YOU.