I have silently watched, in horror, all that is going on around us. I have closely followed the death tolls that rose insistingly, I have read stories of families losing their lives while walking outdoors to get water, I have seen videos of corpses like they never had soul, I have watched...in silence, because nothing I can do would ever make a difference.

I wouldn’t write about it either, it felt insulting, feeble, it didn’t matter to me to express my thoughts or opinions, I’m sure the people in gaza aren’t sitting there and thinking gee, thanks for blogging about this it really helps. I have watched the entire world react and I had no reaction of my own, but to sit quietly and watch, and then, as cowardly as I admit it was, I would flip the channel, because I couldn’t deal with any of it.

Nothing changed anything. No amount of world demonstrations or government boycotts or UN & MAL summits mattered. No amount of pressure, economic or diplomatic or political mattered. It was all in vain and I knew it, and that’s why I didn’t say anything, because it didn’t matter to me to have an opinion, I just watched in horror as this massacre went down in history, as the lives and families turned into mere statistics and collateral damage. Actually, they were collateral damage all along, and that’s why I said nothing.

How do I feel about Egypt’s stance on all this? I honestly do not know, isn’t it all a bunch of bullshit anyway? I mean who the hell cares what Egypt is doing about it, nothing would have CHANGED. Egypt was being a little bitch, and it was the truth of the matter that this was the only thing it could do, because that was how fragile it’s foreign policy was. Sold herself too cheap, it wasn’t sexy anymore!

Is it over? Well does it matter anymore? I mean after some point, it’s all pretty much the same, bomb them, kill them, slaughter them, starve them, trap them, let them go, it’s done! How will these people rebuild their homes? Their families or what’s left of them, their pride, their love, their souls, their world, or their faith?

I know it was war, though disproportional and horrifying, it was war. People die in wars, countries go to waste and the media goes insane. I know this isn’t a one-of-a-kind situation, I know similar things happened before, but perhaps because I’m so aware of witnessing it all, that it is so hard to absorb.

I feel embarrassed about complaining about anything now. Or writing about anything, or just even reading about anything because everything in comparison is just so Futile...

Has God abandoned them? It feels like he has, and as I hold on as much as I can to my faith, I am embarrassed to pray...God is Mercy, God is Love...and most of all God is Justice.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away...