People have become so dark and complicated, so unhappy and violent. So depressed and lonely...Parts of me wants to abandon it all, live art, hear other people’s words to describe my own feelings. The words I have long lost and was never able to regain.

I Marvel at the pictures I once used to draw at a moment of inspiration, back in the time when I still had that bright allure of discovering myself and realizing things about me, that back then, I thought would forever keep me company. guess I was off.

People around me now talk to themselves instead of talking to each other, and some, like myself, prefer not to utter a word at all. It’s void, college ended, friendships withered, and it feels just like yesterday that I walked down my campus for the first time filled with the excitement about what would the next four years of my life look like...feels like yesterday when I crashed and burnt, lost trust in my closest friends, contemplated suicide, lost the structure of a so called family, and became someone so different from that girl walking into school on her first day.

Lost so much of the funny in me, the brightness, and not by choice, I guess it’s what they call growing up, it seems silly to consider now, but I wouldn’t mind that hyper version of myself right now, even if I was more clueless then, I think I had contentment.

I look at people in the streets, those poor people, not financially, but by pity, the pity I have for them and myself along with them, the pity for being lied to, laughed at, tricked, and stolen from. The people that were always described as friendly and joyful, are now bitter, bored, hopeless and filled with resentment.

The people that once walked down the streets of downtown Cairo, demonstrating for their rights, pulling group strikes, and campaigning for a small group of people to write a constitution. They wanted their political rights, they wanted their political freedom...today, they want subsidized bread and a mobile phone..and their only public gatherings are in celebration of FOOTBALL!

I know it might seem like I’m intentionally just adding things and piling them up, but I’m not. It’s the things that live with me everyday. I see them giving up on everything, their childhood dreams, their fairy tales, their families, their ethics, their lives. I see poverty entrapping us, where can we possibly go from here? Those who know dare not think of it, and those who don’t, won’t bother to think of the unknown in the first place.

The utter lack of common sense among a group of people who find it easier to ignore you rather than respect you. So instead you live in a continuous state of caution, because you just don’t want to tick some one off, too silent so you don’t demand your right because we just don’t do that here...because the last guy who got ticked off committed murder and then cut the body up into pieces and then ran over the head with his car before disposing of different parts of the body in different districts around Cairo. The cold blooded murderer was quite a famous physician....

Well...Urged to say I have hope, I must revise myself...I pray for the courage to have hope, and then further courage to share it.
May God Have Mercy...on all of us.